| She walked into the hospital uncertain. New job, new life, yet she moved back to this place. It has been 3 years since she’s been back in this city. Walking through the halls she was greeted “Good Morning Dr. Pham, Welcome to Holy Cross Hospital.” Being the new girl again was strange. It reminded her of being back in school. And then… there he was: the hospital Pharmacist. Her heart leapt as she realized she knew this gorgeous man. It had been 6 years since they split ways in undergraduate school. His light brown hair and his piercing blue eyes met hers. “Kristian” she said with a smile “I never expected to run into you again.” She was nervous; he was always the one who got away. They briefly dated in college, after having a few months of casual sex. “Gemma” he smiled back “you look great!” She blushes. “You look…” she starts as he pulls his hands out of his pocket “married!” she said as she saw the ring on his left hand. “I mean… you don’t look so bad yourself.” Kristian looks down at his ring and gives a nervous laugh. “Yeah… it’s a long story.” She never expected him to be married by now. He was such a free and careless spirit who couldn’t be tied down when they knew each other. It was what she loved most about him. Gemma’s pager goes off and she is needed in the ER. “It was good to see you, I’ve got to go. You do look great though, let’s catch up sometime.” She rushes to the elevator. Still in shock that he’s married she wonders what she’s been doing with her own life this whole time. Gemma couldn’t help but think about those innocent times they’ve spent together in the past. Sure she’s dated other people since but it never compared. He was perfect in her memory. ----------
She remembered him. She remembered him all too well. The way he spoke, the way he walked, the way he kissed. She can recall the way his hands felt and how cute he looked naked. It was so different to see him all grown up from the skater boy he once was. Between all the good memories, it hit her; she has to face working in the same building as him everyday knowing that he’s unavailable. Gemma parks the car and slowly walks in the front door. Starting to dread her day at work she gets handed a coffee. “We didn’t really get to talk yesterday; can we grab a meal after work?” it was Kristian. She smiled, then took it back and said “Is that a good idea? Will your wife be okay with that?” He gave a half smile and said “I’ll explain if you say yes.” “Yeah, sure. I’ll see you later.” Gemma walked away feeling both happy and guilty. What does this mean? Then her pager goes off. It wasn’t time to think about that, she had a job to do for the day. to be continued... |
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| i took all the stuff from my apartment in west philly home to northeast for the summer. all this crap is taking up too much space. im spread out between 3 different bedrooms & none of it unpacked or organized. i packed for my week in cali, came back & didnt bother to unpack more stuff. at this point i dont have a purpose because im moving back to another apartment in west in a few weeks. august has started..... |
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| you walk through the door
I cannot help but notice you
I wanna get to know you better
you're making my neck sore
as my eyes cant stop following you
you're the finest thing that i've seen ever
would you consider
ever going for a chick like me?
cause that would be a dream come true
you're looking at her
not knowing that the one is me
I need to get to know you
I gotta get your attention
Hey there Mr.Perfection
boy you got me affected
with everything I see
Got me believing in fiction
baby you're my addiction
can't control it so tell me
how do I get Mr. Perfection
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| Its weird that when you want attention you end up getting it from the wrong people & it still makes you feel lonely. Yet somehow you can't get the attention you crave from the right person.
Its been a while since I've felt like this. Ignored by someone I am trying so hard to impress, yet getting attention from a few that are trying to impress me. Its funny how life works. Life always wants you to notice whats in front of you instead of chasing pavements. Yet your mind never lets you do that. Its so dead set on chasing something that may only let you down.
I feel like I'm back in high school, maybe even middle school. Feelings that make you giddy yet insanely anxious. It also gets you frustrated.
Remember back in the day when just seeing your "crush" made you smile. Its the simplest thing as to run into them by coincidence or being put into a group with them for a class project. Feeling happy when they smile or say hi to you & acknowledge your existence.
I need to focus on something more important. *sigh, weekend of field training coming up. Time to go play Army.
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| recently some events have happened in my life & i feel a bit lost. not only lost & semi empty but i'm starting to do ridiculous things. is it out of desperation? whats up with me lately...
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